[ about notions of home, real and imagined ]

this has been written for a christmas open mike session at crisis skylight, a place in london that offers ‘help’ for people without a ‘proper’ home. what’s happening there is basically courses, lots and lots and of them, which you’d think is a good thing. on one hand it is. but if you turn up as someone like oneself, who could basically teach at least five of those courses to a higher standard (drawing, art, writing, psychology, mindfulness, qigong, piano, etc.), then all they can do is turn around and persecute the persecuted. i’ve been thus put in a position of segregation within the ‘shelter’. i’m not killed, but ignored, which is the professional way to deal with ‘unwanted elements’ these days, to use a nazi lingo for illustration purposes …

anyway. i’ve managed to get on the list of acts after lots of hassle. and i’ve managed to get on stage after lots of hassle and clowns guffawing to whittle precious time away. then i read, saying, i don’t usually do readings anymore and i don’t usually write essays anymore. in this light, this is for you. appreciate or don’t, it doesn’t make a difference. we’ve long long passed this stage as a writer :)

obviously, exactly when the juicier bits started to happen “… then anyone could just walk into your local council, open a suitcase with banknotes and say, “listen, mate, here’s a deal for you. Look at what you could do around here with all of this. Our guys bring in state-of-the-art knowledge and technology //// !!! ///”, i got cut off by management on grounds that i take too much time. the clown in charge confirmed and ushered the next set of clowns in. and i said, “it’s alright to silence me. i’m very used to it. but it is your time that is running out, not mine.” and i left the farce behind. maybe some of the gathered audience understood what’s going on and that’s what my performance was all about.

over and out.


It used to be said that the home is where the hearth is. It was, for the most part of human history, the centre of living, the always welcoming source of food, warmth and communication. Entire Greek cities used to be centered around the original fireplace laid down by their respective founders. It had to be kept burning as the flickering symbol of a flourishing society for as long as the city that grew around it existed.
But things progressed, obviously, and after many decades of petty struggles and questionable achievements, as the new centre of home has now established itself a mighty piece of flashy machinery. The television. So much for the ‘evolution’ of mankind.
Yet how is it that increasingly less of us even have a home, let alone hearth or television? Why do we face being outcast and tumbling? Why are we increasingly lacking our most deep-rooted needs? Aren’t even dogs better off, these days?
Certainly, having no home is the main reason why we’re gathering here today, around this substitute hearth of an open mike session, which for the time being impresses on us the archaic warmth of group safety and belonging comfort. A communal social hearth such as this, including the catered neat choice between veggie and meat burgers, can at least temporarily give us the illusion that we’re still part of the human race. But be careful. Don’t think too much. Take your medication. Be happy. You’re all so great. Poor buggers. Thank god, I’ve still got my job. “It’s a jungle out there” (original quote from a food-serving Barclay bank volunteer). A business plan tailored for people ‘in need’ that is based on fashionable, board-room-savvy condescension. No one tells you the truth. The show must go on. Something to laugh about. Bread and games. Let them continue. A marvellous choice of learning opportunities. Reality is just too complex. Where to begin?


Well, reality is indeed complex. Why the fuck have we run out of homes, for Christ’s sake? There are many layers of answers, way too many to spell them all out here in a few passing words. But let’s just hint that Christ has indeed something to do with it. Or better, the Barabbas bunch of gangsters. And – the proverbial ‘fallen state’ of Woman. Buried in matter. Adam’s first wive. Zeus’ shunned wive. Hearth keeper. Life Giver. Coming Home. Womb. Bridal chamber. Holy of Holies. Alchemy. Helpmeet.
But of course, on the concrete asphalt level, ‘religion’ has nothing to do with it. So who’s to blame? Well, we’ve all come to know meanwhile about ‘new world order’ and a global imprisonment into the invisible framework of world government. Orchestrated from above the even topmost echelons of international governments – Masonic lodges and their executive bodies of secret services, banks and corporations – the fulfillment of ancient prophecies was a task that most kings and emperors readily subscribed to. Little did they seem to know (or at least didn’t want to) that whenever humans entertain certain plans, on another layer of reality there are always higher plans within plans at work, and deception always lies within deception, so that any human endeavour inevitably faces the same insight that Napoleon is said to have had after being shattered, “the best laid out plans of men and mice often tend to go awry.” Who knows who you are really sleeping with? Is there anybody you can truly trust? Can anybody trust their own selves even? Why bother carving “Know Thyself” into the frontispiece door-beam of Delphi’s oracle?
Invisible and for the most part unrecorded deceptions or seductions were actually far more significant for the writing of human history than otherwise visible and readily recorded wars or disasters. Sex, Concubines, bedspring whispers, clandestine promises and outright temptations. Back-stabbing, jealousy, malice? What about money? Britain was apparently far more successful in ‘colonising’ the world than the Dutch, French, Portuguese and Spanish together, because Henry VIII (when he wasn’t too busy with all his six wives), decided to simply set up shops, not only fortresses, wherever his Britain deforesting fleet ventured – ie, it is far more efficient (or ‘professional’ to use a modern term) to conquer with trade, not with armour. Whether friend or foe, it doesn’t make any difference. Powers’R’Us, either way.
So, historically, any king needed to be careful. Attachment to money has always been considered to be an enormous problem in spiritual-philosphical circles. Do you know, did any Camel ever make it through the needle-hole, in the end? In ancient Greek democracy, involvement with money was an insurmountable obstacle to being allowed any political voice. They even went so far as to use forced exile for anybody with ‘too much money’ or who leveraged their money in such a way that was antithetical to the commonly shared sense of human, dignified living.
A successful constitution of any country meant that money needed to be kept ‘in check’. It had to be issued, monitored and spent, whether at home or abroad, with respect, virtue and wisdom.


Thus, we’re returning to the asphaltic core of our present home problem. If money is the only bottom line within a chilly ‘evolutionary existence’ (the whole ‘survival of the fittest’ crap), then anyone could just walk into your local council, open a suitcase with banknotes and say, “listen, mate, here’s a deal for you. Look at what you could do around here with all of this. Our guys bring in state-of-the-art knowledge and technology, and you and your mates never have to worry about money again. Plus – all your people can be made happy overnight – you know what I mean? What more do you want? Employment opportunities and lots of changes everywhere. There’ll be massive changes even, transforming not only lives but entire communities. There’ll be a buzzing climate of progress everywhere. And when we’re through with this, you’re not at all the same poor, insignificant borough, county, nation or state anymore, but you’re happening. You’re truly leaving your mark. History will never forget you. You’re in the ‘book’, man.”
Naturally, you won’t tell them that once your infrastructure is set in place you’re running the whole bloody circus, monopoly style, controlling all shots and markets, and it is any integrity that might’ve been still there in your town or borrow, that’s now become history. Essentially, if you take the money, the majority of your people will be finished. Everyone with a brain and any halfway decent spiritual-philosphical education knows this. But here’s the catch: if you say no, you’ll be dead, either real or at least career-wise, and somebody else will be chosen instead. If Coca-Cola can’t swallow your new promising drinks brand, the same batch of money will stomp you into total invisibility. In other words, whatever your choice, whether you take the money or say no to it, it’ll always work for those ‘powers’. So the outcome is simply inevitable. Sounds inconceivable?
Yet this is exactly what has happened. It happened all around the globe, in fact, sometimes more openly, sometimes more covertly. More openly, economic hit men hired by the CIA and the World Bank have already blown their whistles, claiming what they did should certainly be illegal but, sadly, is not. Simply put, the world does not belong to the ‘people’ anymore, or, rather anything ‘human’. It belongs to something else, instead. There’s a machine in charge whose gears are continuously turning.


Let’s wrap this up with a few exemplary words: If you still own a virginal farmland, while all your neighbours have already evolved their businesses through irreversible subscription to genetically sturdied crop, it is not the only thing discomforting that your closest neighbours’ soils can never be made pure again. If the wind blew one of their seeds onto your land, the company owning the rights for that dodgy crop can actually sue you. Thus disown you from your own land ‘just because’. Now that’s some catch-phrase of ‘disenfranchising’ for you.
But hang on, the comical farce goes on and on, though. Back in the Thatcher / Reagan days, they made-up the term ‘Neo-Liberalism’ which in fact meant taking all possessions from you, the ‘people’ – amenities like gas, electricity, transport and water – and deliver them into the hands of their greedy corporate mates. They thought anything with the word ‘liberal’ would go down well with a detested, liberty-craving populace.
And the catch phrase ‘emerging markets’ de-facto meant to rape all third-world countries by putting alien shit in place and suck them dry as quickly and phenomenally as possible. It’s just great. Lots and lots of investment opportunities for anybody who’s got the cash. Look, people, something emerging. Pop, Pop, and here, look, some more. And all so noble sounding. Pension and hedge funds. Progress everywhere. That’s what the old pensioner farts back home have been asking for, isn’t it? We’re just doing our job, what’s wrong with that? Just snort the coke, mate. Get a life, loser. Long-legged hookers soaking bean-counting digits at arm’s length.
Curtains up. Homelessness London, Christmas 2015: Now that the emergence-job’s finished and third-world nations are pretty much done for, of course, anything on this planet that might still be left emerging, is hitting home now. Homeless-littered America has already done that a while ago. So it’s now Europe’s turn to proffer some of the things left ‘emerging’. Groundwork has been laid most satisfactorily. Mega-cities and systematic centralisation are simply a great base for no-risk investments. After all, the more people who need them, the more promising are the profit-margins for all those so-called ‘homes’ or ‘offices’. Not to worry about old laws of supply and demand anymore, since no one needs to live there anyway. The capital has bypassed all purpose and reason. The capital is henceforth and forever-and-ever rated thousands of times higher than anyone who is merely human.


What else is there left to do other than laugh about the madness of man and their self-righteous and stiff-necked ways? “Do I take pleasure in the death of the wicked? Rather, am I not pleased when they turn from their ways and live?”, recites Ezekiel. So it’s not that we haven’t been warned, is it?
But let’s again not get into religion. It really doesn’t go down well, these days, and besides, we certainly feel that praying isn’t enough anymore. Let’s remain instead crystal-clear and aboveboard scientific. Free Masons, like most secret societies, all share a belief in what they call ‘the Tradition’. What they mean by that is lost knowledge that had existed before the flood. The treasuring, researching and passing on of such knowledge is called ‘Gnosticism’. In the past it was simply unthinkable to be an artist or writer if you weren’t initiated into the Gnosis. It should be clear by now, even without being religious, that this place is most definitely not run through big-bang-anarchic Chaos. Not only behind every religion, but also behind every major corporation, secret service and bank, there are always kind-of Gnostics at work. What is happening right here and now, as well as everything else that might be happening, including ‘emerging’ terrorist plots, is all being monitored and recorded. Washington computers are churning microchipped gears overtime. Since we ourselves are also ‘cultivating’, treading the path of Great Dao, Masons do of course at the very least respect us, if not openly acknowledge. What they detest are the ‘we are we’, or the Barabbas / Cain crowd.
Everyone knows that Buddhas don’t punish people. A Buddha’s starting points is always compassion. There might’ve been the odd occasion where Artemis / Diana shoots one of her arrows straight through the heart of one rotten-to-the-core mortal. Zeus smashed his flash only towards some fellow Gods on rare occasions. To most of us, it seems clear that the way of heaven to deal with ‘bad’ people works somewhat different:
“Oh my god, how great you are. Here, have some more credit.” It’s really hard to turn back once you’re dead-set on a road to ruin. This tells us that individuals are not destroyed but rather led down, further and further, towards the sinister path of complete self-destruction. For an entire populace, they might find themselves, due to continued denial and ignorance, boxed-in to the point of having no room left at all to navigate any further. They might find themselves, through their own choosing and doing, facing a black hole ‘at the end of it’. And that, also, is heavenly annihilation, rather than having anything to do with ‘evolution’.
In Daoist thought it’s really hard to free oneself, or rise up, from a cosmic tide that is sheer enormous. It’s already hard enough to even recognize that you’re trapped in a waning tide when everyone near you is also trapped in the same decaying tide. In the same Daoist view, sand running through an hourglass can be taken as a beautiful, non-digital example of what modern quantum physics refers to as a time-space or space-time. Karmic debts, deviations from the Dao, quite clearly accumulate. Pay back later, pay more – inn’it? It appears to be a clean-cut law and universal principle.


Putting things back in perspective again. Home and cultivation. Reality and polite-ics. Cultivators aren’t afraid of hardships, of course. Yet if there’s anything left for a humanity to speak of, it there’s any remotely human argument, the pre-condition for any human living and its full scope of human expression within all our social engagements, it is of course, to have a home. Also Aristotle, 2300 years ago, felt that the core cell of any prosperous kingdom is a healthy household or family.
Standing here, rootless, lonesome and lost, holding on to the somewhat cold, not all-too welcoming hearth of a substitute group ‘family’, things have fallen apart beyond redemption, haven’t they? For truth and integrity, there is simply no Ersatz. Rather than gracing with talent and beauty her own kingdom and chosen King – why has Woman been working for somebody else instead all this time, metaphorically speaking? Well, here we go, another full circle. So what is it, really, that ultimately constitutes home? What is a womb? What is a cave? What does it all mean – castle, palace or mansion? What about bathroom? Living-room? Bedroom? For us homeless, all of these have become merely dreams and fancy bubbles. Yet are we not, by having faced rock-bottom, having seen the asphaltic core truth of it, the actual ‘real people’ in this crazy world?
Within the Unfathomable, it is certainly not too late for miracles to happen. Everyone is still taking their true stance right now, openly and sincerely, while not capable of seeing the actual fabric of the cosmos with their very own eyes. As long as this present realm is still under the ‘spell of delusion’, as Buddhist thought puts it, there is still time to wake up and perhaps glimpse our true homes, homes that surely are in other realms, better realms, more pure and holy. And who knows, in this way, by glimpsing them, we can successfully create a decent dwelling place, at least for the time being, in this, however transitory, dimension as well? ‘Own’ a lovely household-family? Reclaim our birth-right, a place of welcome to lay down our head with human dignity?
It is doubtful, though, whether we’ll ever see anything about any of this on telly.
Therefore – do not believe the hype. In fact, don’t even touch it.

Yours truly,
draft magazine

London, Christmas 2015


some thoughts on the nature of persecution


for a long time i’ve been thinking about putting together a solid rationale about my ‘spreading the word’ activities in public, or in other words, about my endeavours of establishing a ‘professional loophole’ to cut through the super-tight and mindbogglingly complex mudpit or spiderweb that, to mankind’s utter shamefulness, has been established, with almost everyone farcically contributing, as our notions, angles and vantage points of ‘human reality’. such an undertaking obviously involves enormous issues, reaching celestial levels as high and infernal levels as deep as counteracting the ‘methodical’ removal of organs, of lives, ideas, of gods, or the suppression and persecution of worlds, countries, philosophies, careers, individuals, universes, etc. while on the level of the merely mundane, it involves the shedding of light into the ridiculous struggle of ‘who is right and who is wrong’ that has turned out to be a kind of pivot of all human pettiness and its brainwashed, instigated arena of ‘survival of the fittest’, probably since the beginning of time. or at least since keen opted to eliminate his brother able, only to satisfy his jealousy-driven ‘desire’ to keep up appearances by wiping away that which is still pure and true from the ‘surface of the earth’. or to be more precise, to remove someone else’s above-the-line visibility for the sake of upholding a wicked, below-the-line lie.

those who i’ve managed to ‘reach’ know that i’m talking about eric berne’s group canons a lot (in the book ‘systemics’ and privately to people around me) and what an inescapable entrapment they entail for everyone feeling ‘right in their mind’ of belonging to any particular group or party ‘wholeheartedly’. for any force of destruction, this particular human flaw of ‘belonging’ makes it perfectly convenient to stir the direction of such a neatly coherent group anywhere they want to. (macchiavelli, as most of you know, teaches its manipulative top-level skill via the introduction of a secret force that is ‘giving’ the unsuspecting ‘belongers’ both a left and a right faction to fight with, thus keeping the ignorant sheep both purposeful and busy while in the end having them kiss the feet of the invisible puppet masters all the same, regardless of who those decide to let ‘win’ for the time being).

those group canons, it turns out, are also the notions that might be boxing-in mankind beyond redemption during the last kalpa’s ‘final hours’ (sounds crazy, doesn’t it? believing this or not, is up to everyone ‘individually’, unthinkably would this be a matter of ‘collectivity’, would it not?). who’d dare taking the role as a so-called ‘agitator’ in this utterly hopeless game play? isn’t the ‘nature’ of the group, like it is for any individual, the mere ‘survival’, ie carrying itself forth into the future and thus fighting off, expelling, annihilating anyone or anything threatening such a course? who’d be able to re-question the originally set-down canon when almost everyone follows along with it – wholeheartedly – towards its ‘predestined’ final destination? and even if such an agitator did come along, sacrificing themselves for a higher cause (like let’s say, suicide terrorist have been brainwashed to do), how could they stand any chance to counteract the movement of a notional wave, based on the undermined, untrue values connected with money, evolution, consumerism, commerce, art, culture, welfare, relationship, intimacy, cultivation, the divine, etc, upon which each individual’s life thread, boxed-in within this wave, is literally and totally ‘attached to’?

any ‘real change’, then, rather than being caused by a different political climate or some other surface changes of the existing framework, could only be achieved from within each individual’s mind and heart (each particle of the wave) – no? was there anything wrong with the ‘system’ as such in the first place, anyway? (systems come and go, don’t they, and are subject to phases of formation, stasis, degeneration, just like the universe itself …)

this then means, that within our being lost in delusion (trapped within the dimensional confines of particles called planets and molecules) and the inherent danger of just carrying-on the immersion and entanglement in this collective downwards wave, each individual is required to take their very own stance and position. would your spouse or your parent or your boss be able to ‘save you’ or absolve you when ‘closure’ (truth arriving at the surface) eventually arrives? would you be able to forgive them your having been ‘ruined’ while they say “sorry” and refer, in the futile attempt of a rational apology, to only having ‘followed orders’ or just ‘didn’t know any better’ themselves? if a machine that you for any variety of reasons feel is vital to be part of, causes you to do things that harm others (maybe even harm exactly those who’ve got the courage to not play an ‘active’ part in the machine) – would any the hague court simply shrug off your ‘sins’ because of the ludicrous reasoning that ‘a machine is simply a machine’? who, to be more blunt in god’s name, would be able to take the blame for your ‘not having known better’, your having been ‘unfortunately’ deceived? your, basically, ‘going against your very own conscience’? could there be any ‘graver sin’ than going against one’s own conscience?

if, then, every individual is required to take their ‘position’ within the machine, break free of all collective notional chains to choose their very own colour and shade and position, according to their most fundamental and therefore most likely ‘true’ conscience, and according to values that prove right throughout time-frames and space-frames that are universal rather than habitually-notional, the areas of grey that lie between the extremes of blackness and whiteness can be said to be the only ‘meeting point’ left for any real freedom-of-choice. or the no-where-land from which to go into the fewer and fewer available future directions. or the only reliable manifestations of an inherently infinite variety of individuals. or, maybe even going this far, the only available zone to stand on for any individual’s ‘ultimate’ future and thus ultimate, true ‘survival’.


what i can see now is that ‘corruption’ (to the integrity of a given system) begins with the exchange of money or other ‘favours’ for mere visibility (and from there invariably ends with the extremes of distorted communicative ‘expressions’ like rape, theft and murder). it really seems ultimately as easy as that. i’ll give two trails of thought as an example.

a. would a naked new-born baby be required to pay (or accrue a financial liability) by the mere fact of emerging from the mother’s womb, of below-the-surface existence, into the realm of ‘us people’ walking the earth – of attaining visibility among ‘divine children’ (a quick side note: get the book ‘evolution cruncher’ if you’re still an ardent ‘believer’ of evolutionary doctrines) upon whom it is bestowed to be living and breathing under the same sun? wouldn’t anyone ‘human’ agree that by the time such a situation occurred, mankind as such really wouldn’t be ‘here’ anymore and only consisted of ‘slaves of slaves’ (maybe the antipode of the biblical ‘dreamers of dreams’)? and yet – honestly – how far away are we from an actual situation like this? and how can it be related to matters of corruption and persecution? doesn’t at the root of ‘human freedom’ lie the freedom of any worldly debt at the decisive moment of worldly visibility? and could any humane intervention ever honestly dare to put a taxation on such naked visibility? what about awkward existing canons of notional judgements through postcode and caste / class systems? what about governments either subsidising or penalising offspring? what about the emerging internet trend of being forced to pay in order to not be exposed to incorporated, machine-made ‘messages’ that are constantly snaking under our skin?

b. when eve took the bait of the ‘forbidden fruit’ in one of our greatest gnostic tales, in other words when she succumbed to the first ever recorded ‘marketing strategy’ (“thou can be like god and thou shall not truly die”), this can be said to be her own fault and she’d have to pay what she owed due to her ‘turning her back to the dao’ no matter what. but when she afterwards ‘sold the product’ to her husband also, wasn’t this kind of abusing his trust and regard for her integrity (that she’d ‘sold out’ unbeknownst to him just a moment ago) starting the whole chain reaction of later ‘wrongdoing’? of course, this lesson also teaches to not trust anyone, no matter how closely we feel that we are to them or they to us. to never, by no means, succumb to leaving the purely individual and thus safe grey zone and instead take a black or white or left or right position inside the however dazzling, money-spewing, god-making machine. a ‘group’ starts with two, doesn’t it? to me personally, it teaches that between the fact of being visible (“hey eve, you cutie, i’m a really cool snake with a rather interesting proposition”) and between hard selling (“i trick / bribe / swindle / fondle you into believing in me”) is a difference as vast as myriads of layers of heaven.

now, of course, there is nothing wrong with the concept of ‘temptation’, is there? would it not be impossible to truly ‘test’ the integrity of anyone without such a principle? on the other hand, what makes a demon king ‘righteous’? would it not be compassion (apart from their nature of incessantly probing for ever more ‘truth’) that causes demons to not overstep the line, go over to the other side and simply ‘rape’?

what kind of relationship ultimately exists between the tempter and the tempted? that’s an interesting one. could one not in a way say, in accordance with psychoanalysis, that such a relationship is in its nature ‘erotic’ or ‘sexual’ and the insertion of money or the taking and the gaining of advantage through such a transaction could be identified as the root cause for faulty / karmically burdened bloodlines, the propagation of false values and presumably lie at the heart of any kind of degeneration or corruption that undermine a given system?

so by bribing oneself into visibility on another one’s forehead or bottom through the incentive of fame, gain or other kinds of worldly ‘reward’, i feel this is overstepping the above-mentionend universal mark into indecently seducing and, i guess, also ‘raping’. furthermore, once this is achieved, the continuation of such bribery into elimination of everything else (suppression, persecution, etc) really isn’t that far away anymore. “i’ll pay you 1.000 to put my logo onto your chest. 2.000 on your forehead. 3.000 on you ass. and another 5.000 to exterminate any other brand entirely from your mind and body.”

while on the other hand, the genuine support of neighbours and friends and products, only relying on this very ‘genuine support’ that comes from truly within, remains on ‘this’ side, the grey side, and is subject not to the laws of a ‘machine’ but only to heart-to-heart transactions and its soft and grey laws of cause and effect, grace and warmth, giving and taking, receiving and warranting – even if sometimes vice and spite are getting involved. as long as there is no ‘machine’, it still seems (and i’m assuming this is the same for both you and me) all beautifully and purely righteous and ‘human’.

as another side note, should we be wanting to make even more psychoanalytical sense of the adam and eve story: perhaps in the continuation of likening temptation and seduction to sexuality and eroticism, one could regard the surrender of eve to the temptation of the devil as a cancellation of the (marriage) contract between her and adam. had adam merely seen it as only that and coped with the fact of having lost yet another ‘helpmeet’ (after his ‘sister-wife’ lilith, his ‘daughter-wife’ eve as well), he would’ve not ‘sold out’ to the same doomsday mistake that his wife sold out to and only eve on her own would’ve had to face subsequent karmic retribution through transmigration and its accompanying mortal suffering. (this little exposition is meant to shed also more light, perhaps, into the enormity of levels that the whole male / female mystery that i’ve been looking into so deeply throughout my life and work touches upon).


coming back to our original premise of group canons, deception and persecution, we’ve seen how ‘powers’ are at work that are separating us humans from the laws of heaven and from each other’s hearts via the insertion of what’s called in here a ‘machine’. psychologically, this would be achieved by abusing our being bound, karmically, to a mysterious life script. and spiritually by taking advantage of every single gap that we could possibly have left open through not studying an ‘upright law’ truthfully (judaism, buddhism, daoism, christianity, confucianism, catholicism and of course even more so all related behind-the-scenes cultivation / gnostic / scholarly studies). the machine seems (and indeed is!) inescapable, as long as we obey its laws and not step into individuality and its various shades of greyness in order to obtain true, higher teachings that can ultimately liberate us from being stuck in what’s been instilled and conditioned as a state of being ‘human’. but that’s easier said than done, isn’t it?

in the cultivation world there is the saying of “seeing but not seeing, hearing but not hearing, thinking but not thinking etc” or of shedding attachments while being fully immersed in them. shedding sentimentality while being completely soaked in it through a love affair or filial piety. shedding attachments of competition and jealousy while everyone else infringes upon your interests and gloriously advances through scheming and fighting while you’re left behind short-changed and losing. so it’s all easier said than done. but this directly relates to what is meant with grey zone and greyness. letting go of the mechanics of the wave / machine and obtaining true laws while taking our own stance towards them. although not ’agitating’ or ‘revolting’ against the system that we’re obviously a part of, we do in earnest what we’re supposed to do while at the same time connect with and relate to what is true and above or even outside of this confined system. there is of course group within group within group within group. a multidimensional cosmos. universes within universes …

when i was myself faced with the full gist of suppression and persecution towards my work (the more i ‘knew’, the less a position in society i was allocated and the more suppressed and ignored and persecuted i essentially became), the path that i was required to walk included finding available loopholes in the machine that would allow me to step forward into plain visibility. at the same time, since at the core of my work was ‘writing’, i was required to analyse, reflect upon and minutely record what i was going through as well as what was going through me at the same time.

as the machine was particularly set-up to regard and postulate as ‘visible’ or ‘existing’ only what the influence of media and the power of money hype the masses of ‘sheep’ into believing that it is (‘based’ on warped group canons of corrupt academia, fake expert opinions, purported critical acclaims, hustling must-see successes, blabla, the list could go on and on) there was hardly any room left for righteous work to ‘survive’ in such an ill framework. so the challenge was as follows: how to side-step the isolating grid of ‘media’ and come to ‘reach’ people directly? how to be still active and visible in a structure where supposedly without ‘money’ or the ‘helping hand’ of hand-picked ‘installed’ authority one is left to vegetate along the fringes of ignorance, scape-goating, poverty, bad-mouthing, scolding, jealousy, taking advantage, intellectual rape, cultural negligence as well as the usual power games and the almost self-ironic, cynical wallowing in pettiness and mediocrity, etc?

“the media is the message”, came to be known during my media art studies. like so many messages, mcluhan’s confident claim turned out to be also just a bubble of hot air. media without a message, does it exist? maybe, but what would be the point? a message surely requires a medium or a ‘carrier’ to be carried along.

messages are infinitely manifold, aren’t they, and they can be ‘created’ at will, at any time. as brain scientists are aware nowadays, thoughts are already messages, with matter emanating in the form of waves being their medium or carrier. whom or where do they reach? not only secret services ‘know’ about telepathy.

furthermore, messages are alive, i believe, and this is in accordance with what the buddha school says about all matter in the cosmos.

what is the difference between a sales message and a benign message? here we’re approaching again eve and temptation territory. is it only the intelligible company logo in the bottom right hand corner? what if the message is decipherable only by the ‘subconscious’ or the ‘initiated’ and hidden for everyone else? what if the message is subliminal or underhanded? what if the message is bold and true and sharp but at its core also graceful and solemn and ‘shockingly’ doesn’t actually ‘sell’ anything?

in the world that we live in, i think everyone would agree that messages have taken on the form of annoying noise persistently surrounding us. without meditation or a proper ‘shelter’, i guess, they’ve become inescapable and all-intrusive. come they not from papers and billboards, they’d be exchanged and sold as notions and opinions by friends and family and partners. who is right and who is wrong? what do we know anyway? what to talk about? when all is said and done, who truly, honestly believes that the whole purpose of human existence lies in the rewards and promises attained through the dogged execution of fundamentally laughable group canons?

is ‘art’ a benign message or trying to sell us something? is literature that has been filtered through a tightly kept agency system genuine knowledge and benevolent philosophical truth or is it hoodwinking me to the ‘other side’ through the intellectual preparation of a stir-fry of bullshit?

the grey zone in whose shade i was eventually meant to walk was what street art and street kids were doing ‘innocently’ on the one hand, and what high-end advertising and branding agencies were attempting on the other. my former path included getting to know both worlds, as vastly as they might be apart from each other, quite a bit. so my foray into the grey zones of visual presence amidst a closed-circuit machinery incessantly churning out deceptive group canons of fake reality was as follows:

step one was to find a quick and elegant way of leaving my messages in public places. the ‘crisis’ offered the timely backdrop of many abandoned or empty spaces that seemed more than perfectly suitable to serve as a carrier or medium.

step two was making sure that none of those messages would cause any tangible damage. blue tacking was the starting point. they should rather be casually left behind than methodically affixed. they should be able to be easily taken off by suppressors, cleaners, persecutors or the simply ‘offended’ without leaving any (or at least as few as possible) stains or traces.

step three was to walk a fine line with any material that i subsequently produced between somewhat sales messages, benign or graceful messages and sharp wake-up call messages. in short, to produce what i feel is ‘good art’.

step four was to rather than widely scatter mass-produced offset material, to selectively leave as presents hand-crafted pieces of art, to be regarded as sweet and / or mindful ‘gifts’ other than self-indulgent nuisances.

step five was to eventually ‘identify’ equally grey ‘supporters’ and thus give everyone whose paths i happen to cross a chance to take their stance by saying “hello” with cheeky gestures of ‘sticking’. while in turn it gave me a chance to ‘isolate’ and subsequently avoid those sites / individuals / entities / institutions who’d react to my ‘contacts’ negatively.

step six was to generally not do this in any underhanded way but to offer the courtesy of allowing a tracing back to the root from where those ‘gifts’ are coming from. (this was also ‘tempting’ everyone with the ‘freedom’ to persecute the already persecuted, should they feel inclined to take such a position).

step seven was to go about distribution without any stress or urgency but to do it whenever ‘fate’ called upon strolling any particular part of town (or out-of-town or any other town).

step eight was to establish a ‘brand’ which wouldn’t need any logo or particular origin in the long run but would represent more like an entirely different framework of thoughts and values where anyone could eventually get involved without the need to ever be an ‘official’ part of it. there were neither invisible nor open contracts and any support could at any point be as casually dropped as it could be endured, embraced or openly cherished.

step nine was enjoying the grey support that i eventually received (which turned out to be by far more than expected) and work through the pangs of anger, suppression and persecution that also occurred occasionally. as a general rule, i never took anything personal and never got worked up into some kind of obsession or frenzy while at the same time any boldness in my approaches was always left subject to considerate rationality and artful humour. “sticking but not sticking”. detachment was the key to everything that i did, anyway.


while jotting down the above lines i noticed that i’d started to somewhat slide into past tense here and there. considering the present unfoldment of events, it is probably true that my work in this regard has been done. we shall see.

in my heart i feel that i did find enough available gaps in the machine, and that i did achieve timely delivery of a message of ‘truth’ and upright ‘reasoning’ through successfully bypassing the complex web of lies and deceit – to eventually reach out to other kindred hearts and spirits that have had the wisdom, foresight and sharpness or for a long time even been ‘longing’ to hear. the rest, i guess, is up to everyone themselves.

after having assimilated myself to the great law of dafa for many years now, the jesus or messiah stuff that so many people have been programmed to believe in / pray for / hope for doesn’t seem to exist at all like they thought. and even if such magical / mystical figures would manifest at some stage, they’d sure to be fake just by the mere fact of having the ‘unrighteous’ audacity of claiming to be a / the new prodigious ‘saviour’. or by even going so far as to show-off any powers that would leave ‘ordinary’ people no other choice than the ‘gnashing of teeth’ that jesus in his time talked about or a more ‘modern’ televised jaw-dropping ‘awe and submission’.

instead, in closing this christmas 2012 exposition on the dangers of groups, crooked canons and the inevitability of subsequent persecution, i’d like to paraphrase from dafa that everyone has to pay themselves for whatever karmic debts they have accrued over the course of their present and past ‘incarnations’. within the dao of the great law, no one ‘is allowed’ to do it for them.

and that regardless of which saint or enlightened ones who’ve ever come down here to ‘save’ people, they’ve merely established a culture for what cultivation or the ‘law’ are really about. and for what exactly might be happening when the final moment arrives, the end of the end, the closure and the secret reason for the creation of this particular realm / dimension of the cosmos – heaven, earth, underworld or the so-called three realms.

Reinhard Schleining
Vienna, 19th December 2012

© 2012, all rights reserved


for a while i’ve been thinking whether we should run a teaser campaign but in the end we decided against it. as you all know, i don’t like hype at all and considering the present situation where i’m somewhat proven correct on this, a situation where campaigning, in the face of gigantic truths unravelling, is increasingly rendered thoroughly ad absurdum, it could be said, that any more than a mere notification of availability, any hustling or underhanded marketing strategy, would imply that whatever is attempted to be sold, as being suspicious, if not outright dodgy.

that said, we’ve chosen to herewith give notice of number 001 – ‘made known’ of draft magazine. lots of work and thought and creativity and responsibility has gone into this so that it turned out to be brimming with  secrets and truths and humour and food for contemplation that you will not get anywhere else in the world. so we’ll say this much and we’ll put up a couple of stickers and newly invented multi-layered, ‘interactive’ posters around town and that will suffice. a life of its own. may truth be told :]

pick it up, order or download it:


on the sensitive subject of money and the general availability of content there’ve been a few changes since last time. what concerns the magazine has been explained there. what concerns our own views and situation is that we’ve made password protected some of the content on this website that is otherwise available, neatly packaged, for sale. any kind souls short of money can still drop me a comment or email a request and i’ll kindly have them access the content via letting them have a key.

while we won’t go as far as jonathan franzen’s character in his latest freedom book (the investment banker lover of the jewish beauty joey fancies), who’d say that the internet is shit because ‘free’ information is per definition ‘worthless’, we do concern ourselves with the paradigm shift that is unfolding at present in regards to a complete re-evaluation of what is on offer and how much is needed for it to be so and to change hands and / or brains and / or location.

london, october 2012


[ a little experimental essay on something rather enormous ]

this goes to prove that in a multi-dimensional cosmos where every particle is consistently changing and causes consequent changes in this way to the multitude of time-spaces and dimensional planes, one shall never say “never” ever again. so in spite of my reluctance to produce any more ‘non-fiction’ work (with the exception of such sudden eruptions as the ‘bits and pieces of truth’ piece recently), i’ve come to try my hands on a paper about human sexuality for the ‘made known’ issue of draft magazine.

below are the illustrations i inserted to give some tonal backdrop. it’s not only formally challenging but the content raises, we feel, questions that can hardly be more profound.

all this and much more in the latest edition of draft magazine.

pick it up, order or download it. read or dismiss it. scold or give something back.

thanks and enjoy :]


london, october 2012


so the ASTROLOGY BOOK finally did happen. that’s always how it goes, isn’t it, the bigger  and more ambitious the project, the more adversities pile up attempting to make it falter. but it came through the other day, eventually, and it does look fantastic, i’m well pleased.

i’d like to leave some brief words for the record on this occasion: this project brings to a closure the study of the whole esoteric tradition (aka mysticism) and the human emotional workings (aka psychology) that i’ve been involved with since i was a child. in hindsight, i find it rather strange but back then i just started to read up everything i could get hold of about the world of magic and mystery and the insanely intricate workings of the human psyche – i’d say, ever since about the age of 12. leaving aside gaps during more engaging ‘live involvements’ with people (relationships in other words), this quest for knowledge and understanding has usurped my conscience throughout most of what i’ve been doing. ‘truth’ was simply too fascinating and life thus too serious to possibly miss the whole point.

as i confidently say in my pitch on the back, this book, in the process of unfoldment for more than ten years, finally contains the entire wealth of the western tradition right at your fingertips.

hope you cherish and enjoy  :)

london, autumn 2011


the matrix booklet is now also available for portable readers on amazon. very exciting. i’ve never found myself having come up with a product that would’ve caused such defense mechanisms in people. but i just love the cute little thing and very much enjoyed re-editing over its details.

looking at it with a bit of the distance that comes with time (i started working on it back in 2004), the underlying content is, i suppose, fairly devastating to all those living in complete denial. as my poet friend paul said the other day, “all the ugliness and ignorance in this world can be brought down to child abuse, really. everything else are just the glittering sparkles on the surface of a lake.”

*   *   *

it’s £ 1 £/ $/ € (plus vat, strangely enough for ebooks!) depending on where you live. i’ve also used this opportunity to experiment a bit with pricing policies. generally i feel that books shall keep their value, preferrably increase them (they do, as abebooks and some of the specialised vintage market-stalls run by true ‘gnostics’ prove). the tendency to inflate them with ridiculous print runs and distribution and marketing frenzies obviously can’t do justice to the true value of knowledge and wisdom. with ebooks, the situation changes only insofar as there are no print and dsitribution costs but the value of information still stays the same. so to stay about 20 – 50 % below the hardcopy sales price makes a lot of sense to me.

on the other hand, some products are just special and perhaps can be easily priced rather metaphorically in such an electronic environment. that’s why i’ve chosen the 1 ‘unit’ option for now. let’s see …


london, 31st may 2011


after having been working on and off for the past 3 years on this, i’ve managed to finish the second series of 52 episodes. the drawing and colouring bit was quite a lot of work (graphic novel, grrr) – but in the end, a seriously beautiful book came into being —> STILL LIFE <— containing both the first and the second series (making it therefore quite a ‘large’ compendium, arching over 10 of my years in total) …

—> from ocober 2010 also running at ELECTROCOMICS

here are a few sample strips of the new series. hope you enjoy =)


reinhard schleining
© 2007 – 2010, all rights reserved


a BOOK! well – this eventually came together during the past couple of weeks and i suppose it makes a lot of sense. five years of fictional work packaged into a nicely polished and concise product. as most people who know me know, i’m innately detesting any form of ‘hype’ and will therefore market this carefully and slowly (if one can even call that marketing :) – with people i meet, shops i run into, the almost primal systemic workings of ‘word-of-mouth’ – as well as any other opportunities for public exposure i naturally stumble upon …

as a further illustration reference (but also because i think this is one of the maddest images i’ve done to this day) – i’ve decided to put the actual artwork online whose purpose was to combine all seven different angles of the book into one key visual …


for more info go to the book’s official site —> LOVE ETC